I can't sleep

Some hours after a failed attempt at a semblance of a good night's rest later, here I am. A blog I've neglected for months, b/c I really couldn't bear to indulge my non-existent audience about my sad ridiculous lame life.
I had this pseudo-nightmare just now (pseudo, b/c I didn't actually fall asleep, see above) and nightmare, b/c it ended once I realized the mind tangent I had just gone on made me start to cry. It's absolutely lame, but I was thinking about my future self as a lonely 30-something year old living in a studio apartment in Murray Hill by myself with no idea how to fix my tv. All I could think was, goodness that really could happen to me soon (b/c I'm moving into that studio in just a few short months, and I really have no idea how to make technological products work for me). Then it morphed into insipid thoughts of my absolute fear of never ever finding just one boy that I have no apprehensions about. This is really all my parents' fault. They're stressed I didn't find someone in college and now that I've graduated, all of the boys have up and left, leaving single women like me to die lonely.
Oh and also, my pent up sadness missing my old roomies. This would be a shout out to Russell and Evan. I love you boys!
I also had this psychotic "daydream" if you will, about me getting the reading job with the blind managing director at NB. I interviewed today (which entailed me speeding through a vastly uninteresting op ed about the IMF selling gold) and have absolutely no clue at all how it went. I don't know how to gauge that. Is she going to pick someone else over me, b/c I stumbled over the IMF president's name? (which really is ridiculous, google if you must) Was my voice not monotone enough? I think I dropped half an octave from my normal tone... someone told me once that I had a very nice voice... that I sounded like someone who should sing very well. I rectified that situation quickly. There were also the handful of times that people told me I sound like Lindsay Lohan or LiLo or whatever she's referred to these days. hm... I guess we'll see tomorrow where my future as a reader for the blind goes.
I think I'm finally sleepy. I hope I don't have any more nightmares...